It was a dark and stormy night…. This episode opens with Daenerys being kinda cranky. She is reminded that she was born there on a night like this, but this does not feel like home and it is not the goal she is aiming for. She’d prefer a much different throne. Her mood falls on Varys, who eventually admits he has no loyalty to royalty. He is a man of the people and will put them first. I think he got some grudging respect for that but also a threat.
Suddenly Melisandre arrives, she too has to defend her previous allegiances. Then she talks of the bigger picture and urges Khaleesi to finally do what we all want and summon Jon Snow. Tyrion backs this play but then looks a bit taken aback when The Mother of Dragons agrees but demands Jon be invited to bend the knee.
The raven that carries this message to Winterfell arrives. Jon and Sansa are not big fans of being boss bitched so the whole scene really is more about them admiring Tyrion isn’t like the other Lannisters. Then agreeing they won’t be fools like the previous Starks and won’t be going.
Back at King’s Landing, Sam’s jerk dad is listening to Cersei. The sort of queen has assembled men who are loyal to the Tyrell’s to convince them that only she can save them. She twists all the actions Daenerys has made into the worst images and threatens that she is bringing her horde of savages to ravage them all and only Cersei can save them.
Jaime then propositions Sam’s poppa. Be my general and ill give you Olenna’s title. It is pretty obvious he is interested, but he has to be a dick, because he is totally a dick, and make snide remarks about how much less of a cretin he is than the Lannisters.
Back at the Citadel, Sam is helping examine Jorah, who may live another 10-20 years but he will lose his mind in less than 6 months. The Maester gives him one day before he will ship him off to the other stone men and strongly hints he should fall on his sword. Sam and the Archmaester are walking through the library and he mentions reading about a treatment for greyscale. He is immediately shot down as the procedure is too dangerous.
King’s Landing again and Qyburn is walking Cersei through the skulls of past dragons before unveiling a ginormous crossbow and putting a mean looking arrow through the skull of Balerion. Suddenly, Cersei thinks her dragon problem is solved I mean if it will break through a centuries old skull sitting on the ground 15 feet away, surely she will have no problems shooting three flying, fire breathing dragons….
Back on Dragonstone, Daenerys has a full war council. Olenna, Yara, Theon and Elaria Sand hear the plan to take King’s Landing. Their armies will lay siege to the capital, while Grey Worm and the rest of Dany’s crew knock out Casterly Rock.
Cue the love scene I have been waiting too long for. Missandei runs to Greyworm’s room, how could he go to war without saying goodbye. He gives her his version of romance by explaining why she is his only weakness, he never had fear before her. Then he finally kisses her. She pulls back, but only to get on with the nakey making. When she reaches for his pants, we get the not so subtle reminder he has no little Greyworm, but Missandei is a smart lady of many tongues and knows a man needs only one. This is Game of Thrones though, so this scene makes me think One of these two will die next week.
Return to Jorah writing his loving goodbye to his Khaleesi, Sam bursts in and goes all hero. He was with Jorah’s father when he died and he adored him, so he;s going to save Jorah, or torture him, who knows? Drink all the rum and don’t scream man, the procedure is going to hurt. Sam starts sawing away at the pus and scales.
MMM creamy pie, now we are at an inn. Arya sees her old pal Hotpie again and cracks some jokes about making pie of her own. Then she finally learns her family is back at Winterfell. Arya makes a hasty exit. Mounting her horse she has a momentary moment of conflict, should she continue on to kill the queen or go home to her brother and sister? Finally, after 6 seasons, Arya heads North.
Back at Winterfell and Jon is only now getting the raven Sam sent last episode. He tells his bannermen that there is dragon glass on Dragonstone and he will be taking the meeting with Daenerys. Of course Sansa flips out and there is much talk of him abandoning his people, until he says he will leave Sansa in charge and then of course she is cool with it. I like season 7 Sansa less each episode.
Jon heads down to the crypts to contemplate the mistakes of Ned perhaps, when Little Finger shows up. He tries to ingratiate himself but Jon is having none of it. Then Baylish swears his love for Sansa and Jon snaps. Watching him choke that little man was quite enjoyable, but he doesn’t kill him of course.
Next we have a short but poignant scene where Arya is camping when something disturbs her horse. She is surrounded by wolves, but suddenly Nymeria is there. She begs her to go home with her, but the Direwolf walks away with her new wold pack. If you didn’t tear up a bit at this scene which is so symbolic of the changes in Arya, you have no heart.
We are on a boat. Elaria and Yara are drinking and discussing the pointlessness of Theon. Yara calls him her protector before Elaria starts to invade the Iron Isles. But we don;t get much more than that tease when Euron attacks. His massive fleet wipes out Yara’s and two of the sand snakes fall to the flaming pirate of doom. Elaria and her daughter are taken hostage, because gifts must be given. Euron captures Yara and is holding a knife to her neck mocking Theon and daring him to make a move, and suddenly Reek jumps overboard because of course he does. We close on Theon watching Euron’s ships float off after destroying a huge part of Dany’s plan to lay siege to the capital.
This episode was kind of insane. So much happened in one episode. We jump from scene to scene and location to location so quickly that my brain and heart had trouble processing the momentous moments. I think the only thing we didn’t see was the wall. What is happening with the free folk as they man the castles? What happened to Bran and Meera after they got to Castle Black? Of course we are also left with more questions. What will Euron do with Yara and can she forgive Theon, yet again, for his weak and douchey ways? I can’t wait for next week.
What did you think of this weeks episode? Let us know in the comments.
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